Thursday 13 August 2015

Maybe Baby

This post does include language and descriptions that relate to conceiving, so if you don't want to read about that then don't read it. (I mean that in the nicest possible way).

I am feeling a bit anxious about posting this blog as I have parents that read my blog, but I decided to post it as the objective of my blog is to help others and I am hoping this information will be helpful. So... if you are related to me, please perhaps skip it?! Unless you want to read it of course.
If this post helps one person conceive then it is worth it.

Being a Mum is a journey that starts months before you actually give birth. For many parents I believe it starts the moment you decide to try for a baby.

After spending 3 years wearing my husband down to agree to try for a baby he finally agreed last summer. My husband is a very sensible, cautious man so insisted we waited for the right time financially.

Anyway, last summer he finally gave in to my biggest wish to start a family, and with that go ahead we began trying and so began the first stage of parenthood!

I think, very often, this first part is overlooked by women until they have gone through it. I was blissfully ignorant before trying to have a baby about how this stage can be an emotional roller coaster and at times difficult.

I started by lying to myself saying that I knew these things would take time and I would be relaxed about it... That I wouldn't get into the science too much and just let it happen naturally. However, despite all my laissez faire statements, I secretly expected to fall pregnant on the first month and was very emotional when my period came along the first month of trying.

We were lucky, we fell pregnant after about 4 months trying, but as each month passed with no positive pregnancy test I was getting more disappointed and much more detailed about my ovulation (the "science" of conception as I call it). In fact, I recall one PMS, hormone induced rant after getting another negative where I miserably informed my husband we were probably infertile and we couldn't have a baby... I realise now this was mean, stupid and totally based on being so up tight and emotional about conceiving!

While I doubt many women get to that level of craziness about conceiving, I do think many women become very desperate during this stage as the months start to go by without getting pregnant.

This part of motherhood is hard! So I wanted to share some of what I learnt for anyone trying to conceive.

Firstly, and most importantly you need to know the science behind it! I had no idea that a woman is only fertile and able to get pregnant 3 or 4 days out of the month! This was news to me... How do so many women end up pregnant by accident when we are only fertile/ovulating 10% of any month?!

I was discussing this with a fellow mummy and we agreed they don't cover this enough in biology at school. Though I appreciate they want to avoid pregnancies while you are at school, they don't prepare you or provide enough knowledge for reproduction as an adult.

For information on "the science" behind conceiving try this website: http://www.babycentre.co.uk/ovulation

Because you can only get pregnant during such a short time frame you need to know when you are ovulating! If you want results quickly I strongly believe you need to know when you are fertile every month. Knowing this is very important if your objective is to get pregnant quickly. You might skip a week when you don't feel like being intimate and completely miss the only 3 days you can get pregnant. Sperm does live inside your uterus for a week or 2 after sex but statistically speaking the best chance you have is by having sex during your 3 days of ovulation!

You can know when your ovulating by using handy ovulation kits, calculating your ovulation period (using handy online ovulation calculators such as this one here) and by looking out for signs from your body, which include:
  • changes in your cervical mucus (sorry to be graphic, but it is what it is).
  • feeling sexy (ovulation is when you are most fertile so your body natural makes you want to reproduce)
  • ache in your belly (some women can feel when they are ovulating)
You need to know your body when you are trying for a baby. I got pregnant on a month I ovulated earlier than expected. I could tell that I was ovulating by knowing the signs/changes my body went through.

I also really recommend ovulation tests, the best I found was Clearblue.

In addition to this everywhere says to stay calm as stress negatively effects fertility. Easier said than done! But I believe it really makes a difference as I fell pregnant around the time I went on holiday. A lot of glossy magazines suggest a "babymoon" - a holiday where you try to conceive. Taking your mind off it with a holiday could perhaps help?

You also need to get your body ready, taking prenatal vitamins is always a good idea. And I read that exercise and a good diet help too. I even made my husband take tablets designed for men when trying to conceive (as I read it is important the man has good levels of certain vitamins for reproduction, such as zinc).

Lastly be aware that saliva and lubricants can be harmful to concieving, so to increase your chances of getting pregnant it is best to buy a conception friendly lubricant (if you use them) and avoid oral sex.
Here is a link to a lubricant designed to help conception (in other words it isn't harmful to sperm) called Conceive Plus.

And lastly know that these things can take time but if you really want this as quickly as possible be honest with yourself from the start and give in to the "science"... whip out that ovulation kit if you really want to! Part of me feels like there is a lot of pressure for us women to be "cool" about conception (and wanting a baby). That we can't really admit how much we want a baby out loud, even sometimes to our own partners. But I feel strongly that if you get into the "science" from the start that it can really help get the positive result a little sooner.

I hope this helps anyone trying to conceive, and good luck. :)

1 comment:

  1. Would you recommend an ovulation kit over something like this ovulation calculator I've been looking at? I've got a stable cycle but if the ovulation kits are significantly better I'll give one a go!

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