Being a Mum hasn't really been what I expected. I don't mean that in a bad way. But my expectations before I had my son compared to the reality are very different.
Here are my top 8 expectations verses reality parenting thoughts...
Expectation: My pregnancy belly will go down really quickly.
Reality: Hahahahaha (that is my now self laughing at my pre-birth self). Enough said.
Expectation: I am going to take my baby to so many things: baby massage, baby sensory, swim classes...
Reality: At £120 a course for each of those, how about you pick one?! How do Mums, on maternity pay, manage to pay for all these classes and courses?! Not to mention, getting ready and out the house for a 10am class can sometimes seem like they are expecting miracles!
Expectation: Babies only cry when they want something. I will always pick up my son when he cries, and immediately.
Reality: My son has already learnt the art of manipulation. He cries just because he hasn't been played with in the past 5 minutes and wants more attention, he stops the moment he is picked up.
The reality is that Mummy needs a shower, she smells after you pee'd and puked on her. So Mummy is gonna have to let you cry for just 2 minutes while she has the quickest shower of her life!
Expectation: I will be really chilled about everything...
Reality: Me now... Is he breathing? Is he eating enough? Is he breathing? Is he eating too much? Is he breathing? His feet are too cold, lets put on some socks? Is he breathing? His feet feel too hot now, lets take the socks off? Is he breathing?
Expectation: I will sterilise the dummy every time it falls out his mouth!
Reality: Oh bugger... he dropped the dummy onto his play mat again, for the 20th time this afternoon! Sod it, I will just suck on it and then give it back to him...
Expectation: I will sleep when the baby sleeps.
Reality: Slap (that is current me slapping my pre-birth self, for being so delusional!) You barely ever get to sleep when the baby sleeps. You use that time to do the mountain of housework or just basics... like eating!
Expectation: I am going to be really together with everything. I will be out and about everyday, looking my best and being an all around great Mum.
Reality: It is 4pm. We haven't left the house all day, both me and the baby are still in our PJs. The curtains are closed and we are watching Disney films. I had a chocolate bar for lunch. We had to have a shared bath after my baby attempted to do a surrealist painting with his poo, on his changing mat.
Expectation: I will be realistic about my baby. I will never utter the words "he is so advance for his age"... It is unlikely he will be a baby genius.
Reality: "OMG... He is so advance... Look at his head control. So advance. He rolls over already. I am teaching him to count in 4 different languages. I swear he almost said Hello. He is so handsome. I think he will look like Brad Pitt when he is older..." (admittedly I only do this in front of my Hubby as I know I sound ridiculous, but I just cant help it).
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