Thursday 16 July 2015

Job Title: Mum

I used to work in recruitment and one of the most memorable CVs I ever received was from a full time Mum trying to get back into work.

Having been doing that a while this lady understandably didn't have much on her CV for recent employment.

However she had decided to put down motherhood as her current full time job, and even described in detail all that this role entailed.

As an example, it went something like this:

Current Employment:
Full Time Parent
2009 - Present
Job Role Includes: Childminder, Chauffeur, Conflict Resolution and Peace Negotiator, Chef, Cleaner, Financial Administrator, Entertainer, Head of Purchasing, PA (intensive diary management) and Waste Management.


I thought this was in ingenious way of selling yourself, while also being amusing. If you can make nappy changing (aka waste management) sound good then you are very inventive.

I think this person could have really embellished more though, including the skills she had developed in the role of Mummy, such as:

Works well under pressure:
because if you can stay calm when you have to arrive somewhere in 5 minutes but your baby needs a nappy change (during which he poos and wees on you) then you can handle most pressure situations!

Experienced in dealing with difficult customers:
is there any client more demanding than a baby?!

Skilled at sales and negotiation: you really have to sell that £5 toy to your child when he is clutching onto the £80 toy he spotted in the shop (and you can see a tantrum brewing). Not to mention trying to sell broccoli mush as a delicious meal to a weaning baby!

Able to think outside the box: all parents have to have an inventive and active imagination to help keep their babies entertained. This isnt a box, it is a time machine!

Diary management: no one truly understands efficient time management until you have to fit 5 children's birthday parties into one weekend! Keeping your child's thriving social life active can take up your whole calendar!

And when asked in an interview why you are leaving your current job you can honestly reply that you are looking for a new challenge, ideally one where you aren't going to be puked on as much!

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