For anyone considering going along to their local antenatal classes I wanted to share what I had thought about them.
Overall I really enjoyed the experience for lots of reasons but mostly because it was lovely to meet a group of parents at the same stage of pregnancy as me and my husband.
You are part of a group that understands what life is like for you during that stage, full of excitement and a healthy dose of fear (and even worry). I remember on the last lesson the instructor took us out to the main entrance of the labour ward and we said our goodbyes... I felt an overwhelming sense of "oh my goodness"! The next time I am here I will be in labour and meeting my baby! I instantly felt overwhelmed and not ready.
However, despite that moment of "oh my goodness" the classes were really informative and I am happy to report that I will soon be catching up with the lovely Mums from the group. I am really looking forward to comparing birthing, breastfeeding and parenting stories. No one else will understand where I am in my life as much as these Mums and it is lovely how we can all support each other.
Admittedly, I was a complete book worm when I was pregnant and read so many online resources about pregnancy (and the first few months of being a Mum) so I did know a lot of what was covered in the classes already. But it was very good for my husband... I find Dads to be don't do as much reading as Mums do. This is just natural. So going to these classes with my partner really helped teach him a few things he might not otherwise have known, and it was so useful for him to be taught about what to expect during labour. I felt that him knowing what to expect meant he was able to be at his most supportive throughout the process of giving birth.
Overall the classes covered everything but two areas that I really felt it let me down was its stance on formula feeding and natural (pain relief free) birth. The classes we attended were the free NHS, locally run parenting classes so this is just my experience with these. However I have been informed that the paid for NCT classes are very similar in this respect.
I did cover this a little bit in my blog post about my struggle with breastfeeding (which you can read here if you want to), but basically they aren't allowed to discuss formula feeding with the class. This was something we were told by the instructor and she said if we wanted to know about it we had to come to her after the class, to discuss it on a one to one basis. If you have ever been to the classes you will know that after a few hours of parenting lessons you are desperate to eat (you are pregnant after all) and are probably in an information-overload trance. So staying later to discuss formula isn't really something you will do, especially after being repeatedly informed how "breast is best" during the lesson...
In addition to this they do very much follow a plan that strongly encourages natural childbirth, going through the many pros of avoiding the stronger pain relief options (such as epidurals).
I personally find this something that has actually had a very negative effect on me and other Mums. These classes are very "breast is best", all natural birth and natural mother based... I completely understand why (and I am very supportive of anyone who can breastfeed and have a natural birth) but I have found that this attitude doesn't go with reality very well.
Firstly, natural birth is something that seems to have been very illusive to many of the Mums I know. I know of several C sections (even myself), episiotomies, blood transfusions and general complications within my group of Mummy friends... I think that by pushing the message of natural, pain free birth so much we are neglecting women somewhat. Labour is a very traumatic experience and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for having medical advances help us, or deciding to have pain relief. I laboured for 30 hours before I was so exhausted from labour that I decided that I couldn't cope and asked for a epidural. Essentially going against my natural labour plan, but can you blame me? 30 hours... 3.... 0... hours!
I felt very upset with myself at the time but I hadn't slept for 30 hours... I had reached my limit. I ended up needing the epidural anyway as my labour ended in an emergency C section. A lot of my feelings of failing came down to the pressure that we get in places such as the antenatal classes, and general opinions that are obviously pushed by a "higher power". A "higher power" that dictates that the parenting class instructors aren't allowed to discuss alternative options (such as formula feeding) during the classes.
In addition to the natural pain relief options being very emphasised they push "breast is best" feeding as well. Again I understand why but I really feel that this leaves out a massive section of information that parents should be educated on. I made the decision to move to formula after a few weeks because of the issues I was having but there are plenty of medical reasons that women are truly unable to breastfeed! Surely a balanced approach would be to teach us how to properly administer formula?! I didn't have a clue what to do when I had to do a midnight formula feed for my dehydrated baby (my milk took so long to come in my poor son became dehydrated!).
I feel that the antenatal classes really need to reevaluate their stance on educating parents about formula feeding. It isn't realistic to neglect this in the hopes we all successfully breastfeed. It is important to know that if we need to that we can prepare formula feed properly. Whether it is for medical reasons or personal... lets not forget that the World Health Organisation recommend feeding a baby breast milk for at least 6 months. If you follow this recommendation until 6 months you still cant feed a baby cows milk, as a drink, until they are 12 months. But they still need milk in their diet. This mean you will have to use follow on formula milk from 6 to 12 months old... so why aren't they teaching this in the antenatal classes?
Anyway, I don't want this to be a big negative blog about the classes. They really are very useful and meeting fellow parents is a great, supportive experience. But I want to share my honest opinion as I think it is important that you are aware of, what I believe to be, the areas that they are lacking in.
Overall, I think you should go in hoping to learn but still do your own research on birth and feeding your baby. I think it is always worth researching pain relief options (such as epidurals) and formula feeding in your own time, as you may need this information at some point... and don't forget, no matter how you have your baby (natural, with an epidural, C section etc) or feed your baby as long as you love them, nurture them and try your best then you are being an excellent parent.
Overall I really enjoyed the experience for lots of reasons but mostly because it was lovely to meet a group of parents at the same stage of pregnancy as me and my husband.
You are part of a group that understands what life is like for you during that stage, full of excitement and a healthy dose of fear (and even worry). I remember on the last lesson the instructor took us out to the main entrance of the labour ward and we said our goodbyes... I felt an overwhelming sense of "oh my goodness"! The next time I am here I will be in labour and meeting my baby! I instantly felt overwhelmed and not ready.
However, despite that moment of "oh my goodness" the classes were really informative and I am happy to report that I will soon be catching up with the lovely Mums from the group. I am really looking forward to comparing birthing, breastfeeding and parenting stories. No one else will understand where I am in my life as much as these Mums and it is lovely how we can all support each other.
Admittedly, I was a complete book worm when I was pregnant and read so many online resources about pregnancy (and the first few months of being a Mum) so I did know a lot of what was covered in the classes already. But it was very good for my husband... I find Dads to be don't do as much reading as Mums do. This is just natural. So going to these classes with my partner really helped teach him a few things he might not otherwise have known, and it was so useful for him to be taught about what to expect during labour. I felt that him knowing what to expect meant he was able to be at his most supportive throughout the process of giving birth.
Overall the classes covered everything but two areas that I really felt it let me down was its stance on formula feeding and natural (pain relief free) birth. The classes we attended were the free NHS, locally run parenting classes so this is just my experience with these. However I have been informed that the paid for NCT classes are very similar in this respect.
I did cover this a little bit in my blog post about my struggle with breastfeeding (which you can read here if you want to), but basically they aren't allowed to discuss formula feeding with the class. This was something we were told by the instructor and she said if we wanted to know about it we had to come to her after the class, to discuss it on a one to one basis. If you have ever been to the classes you will know that after a few hours of parenting lessons you are desperate to eat (you are pregnant after all) and are probably in an information-overload trance. So staying later to discuss formula isn't really something you will do, especially after being repeatedly informed how "breast is best" during the lesson...
In addition to this they do very much follow a plan that strongly encourages natural childbirth, going through the many pros of avoiding the stronger pain relief options (such as epidurals).
I personally find this something that has actually had a very negative effect on me and other Mums. These classes are very "breast is best", all natural birth and natural mother based... I completely understand why (and I am very supportive of anyone who can breastfeed and have a natural birth) but I have found that this attitude doesn't go with reality very well.
Firstly, natural birth is something that seems to have been very illusive to many of the Mums I know. I know of several C sections (even myself), episiotomies, blood transfusions and general complications within my group of Mummy friends... I think that by pushing the message of natural, pain free birth so much we are neglecting women somewhat. Labour is a very traumatic experience and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for having medical advances help us, or deciding to have pain relief. I laboured for 30 hours before I was so exhausted from labour that I decided that I couldn't cope and asked for a epidural. Essentially going against my natural labour plan, but can you blame me? 30 hours... 3.... 0... hours!
I felt very upset with myself at the time but I hadn't slept for 30 hours... I had reached my limit. I ended up needing the epidural anyway as my labour ended in an emergency C section. A lot of my feelings of failing came down to the pressure that we get in places such as the antenatal classes, and general opinions that are obviously pushed by a "higher power". A "higher power" that dictates that the parenting class instructors aren't allowed to discuss alternative options (such as formula feeding) during the classes.
In addition to the natural pain relief options being very emphasised they push "breast is best" feeding as well. Again I understand why but I really feel that this leaves out a massive section of information that parents should be educated on. I made the decision to move to formula after a few weeks because of the issues I was having but there are plenty of medical reasons that women are truly unable to breastfeed! Surely a balanced approach would be to teach us how to properly administer formula?! I didn't have a clue what to do when I had to do a midnight formula feed for my dehydrated baby (my milk took so long to come in my poor son became dehydrated!).
I feel that the antenatal classes really need to reevaluate their stance on educating parents about formula feeding. It isn't realistic to neglect this in the hopes we all successfully breastfeed. It is important to know that if we need to that we can prepare formula feed properly. Whether it is for medical reasons or personal... lets not forget that the World Health Organisation recommend feeding a baby breast milk for at least 6 months. If you follow this recommendation until 6 months you still cant feed a baby cows milk, as a drink, until they are 12 months. But they still need milk in their diet. This mean you will have to use follow on formula milk from 6 to 12 months old... so why aren't they teaching this in the antenatal classes?
Anyway, I don't want this to be a big negative blog about the classes. They really are very useful and meeting fellow parents is a great, supportive experience. But I want to share my honest opinion as I think it is important that you are aware of, what I believe to be, the areas that they are lacking in.
Overall, I think you should go in hoping to learn but still do your own research on birth and feeding your baby. I think it is always worth researching pain relief options (such as epidurals) and formula feeding in your own time, as you may need this information at some point... and don't forget, no matter how you have your baby (natural, with an epidural, C section etc) or feed your baby as long as you love them, nurture them and try your best then you are being an excellent parent.
Couldn't agree with you more, Lucy. My son is 18 now and it is sad that things haven't improved in all that time. My labour plan was eventually abandoned very sadly many hours into the very painful labour (baby was spine to spine with me but they hadn't noticed), by which time I was completely exhausted so had to have lots of intervention and pain relief. Then the breast feeding problems began and he steadily lost weight. After several weeks of what felt like me being told off by the midwife and health visitor for not feeding him properly/long enough, I very guiltily gave him a small bottle of formula and he wolfed it down. The poor child just wasnt getting enough milk from me and was hungry!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand why natural birthing and feeding is encouraged but also feel that the alternatives need to be explained more too. We did both NHS and NCT classes and neither showed us how to clean bottles or make up formula, which, as you say, most parents have to do at some point.
Good luck with parenthood - enjoy every moment (OK, maybe not EVERY moment, but most of them!)
Helen