What the first 24 hours of motherhood are like...

Congratulations, you have just given birth to the most precious thing you will ever make, own, love...

You have battled through 9 months pregnancy; morning sickness, backache and hormones. Then you laboured through birth so you could hold your baby for the first time... Its totally magical.

Thus begins parenthood and the first 24 hours are just as intense as everything that came before. I am going to be candid during this post as I think it is important. The first 24 hours as a parent are really intense!

This isn't meant to scare but to be honest about what it is like, so you can feel prepared going into this amazing, but crazy time.


Here are a few things that happen in those first 24 hours that I didn't expect...

Firstly, be aware that you are going to be emotional. Having just given birth your body is adjusting by releasing hormones and stopping other pregnancy hormones. This is like having PMS times 100. You will cry with joy when you meet your little miracle, but you will also cry for no reason. I found that I cried in the evening, once my husband had to leave (as visiting hours were over) and I was on my own. It felt like I was crying because I loved my son so much, not a bad reason to cry but not necessarily the reason of a sane person. This does continue too, for the first week. I found that I would cry about 7pm every night for no reason what so ever. This is normal, it is hormones but if it continues after a week do speak to your midwife or doctor about it.

You aren't going to sleep. Despite being in labour for 35 hours without sleep I still didn't sleep the night after my son was born. I just watched him all night. This is due to a mixture of love and genuine fear that something might happen. It is highly unlikely anything bad is going to happen but being a new Mum you are suddenly consumed with worry for your baby, this is natural. In fact, I didn't sleep the 2nd night either (after we came home), I just watched him to make sure he was breathing.

This all leads into that: oh my goodness moment! Usually when you get home and it really sinks in that you are now responsible for a life other than your own. Again, this is totally normal to feel a bit overwhelmed but don't forget you have your partner, family and friends to support you through this period of adjustment.

You will probably disagree with your partner, over something trivial like how to put on the nappy properly or where the poppers go. This is normal, you are both overwhelmed and trying to get a handle on things.

The mirror is not your friend! I would generally avoid looking in a full length mirror on the first day. Just keep it to your face upwards because your body can be like a stranger to you. I really expected my pregnancy tummy to go down a lot quicker than it did. Most women do look at least 6 months pregnant after the baby is no longer in the tummy. If you are one of the women that is instantly skinny again then you are very lucky!

They will do several checks on your baby. These include checking his reflexes, hearing, a full body examination and generally monitoring him. Don't be worried if they aren't able to get a clear read on some of the results of the tests, this can happen. There is plenty of midwives around for you to speak with if you have any concerns.

In the case of my son, they weren't able to get a positive result on the hearing test they do on your baby while they are in hospital. They said it was probably due to him being a C Section baby which can mean that the mucus in the ears, from being inside, hadn't cleared properly. This is normal and we just had to take him back a week or 2 later to have it checked again, we did and he was all fine.

Getting released out of the hospital can take time. I was ready to go (having had all my checks and my son having had all his) the morning after I gave birth, but because they are so busy I didn't get released until 8pm that evening. If you want to leave the hospital that day (feeling fit and well of course) then tell the midwives as soon as possible so they can start the process. Also, be aware that the wards are busy. You will go from a private room during birth to a ward (in most cases) were you will be sharing a room with a few other Mums and babies. However, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You are recovering from a big strain on your body, they don't call it labour for no reason.

The reality of taking them home and your first few hour at home is probably not what you will imagine. It wasn't for me anyway. I had visions of dressing him a cute outfit and booties for his journey home followed by a beautiful few hours at home relaxing. The reality was I didn't put him in his specially selected going home outfit as I was exhausted and just put him in the closest outfit to hand. Still cute but not what I had picked. You will probably be sore from giving birth (even more so if you had a C section or episiotomy) and just walking to the car to go home will be a bit painful.

Also, when I got home neither me or my husband could face cooking so we got a take away, hardly the domesticated bliss I had expected.

Lastly, you will never know love like it. I know it is very soppy to say and such a cliche, but holding your baby in your arms for the first time is wonderful. No matter what happens during the first few hours, days and weeks you just need to cuddle with your baby and life is good.

Originally blogged last year, I thought this was well worth re-blogging due to friends mentioning how intense those first few days are!

Why I weaned before 6 months...

Yes, some Mums may read this and be shocked and appalled, but I would hope you would read all that I write because you may be surprised.

Yes, I didnt wait until 6 months to wean. But that doesnt mean I didnt do a lot of research, talk to medical professionals and think hard before I decided to wean before the 6 month recommendation.

I think there is nothing wrong if you decide to wait until 6 months old, if you did then I am pleased for you and even congratulate you, but I also think there is another side to weaning. The side that considers not waiting until 6 months old.

I found weaning to be a real mine field when I was looking into it. There is no doubt that us modern Mums get a lot of conflicting advice. There is the "old school" view of weaning earlier (before 6 months) that you may often hear from older family members and friends, then there is the current recommendation of waiting until 6 months.

I thought the contention over natural birth and breast feeding was hard to navigate... Then there is/was sleeping through the night and now... Well, welcome to weaning...

My son turns 5 months soon. He is a hungry baby, he weighs the same as some 6 months old... But is tall too so it is all in proportion. Around the time I decided to start weaning, my son was almost strong enough to sit independently, has always had good head control, was showing an interest in food and was showing signs of having developed his tongue thrust motion. All these are signs he was ready for weaning before 6 months.

Therefore I was strongly considering it and decided to do some research into it.

As I mentioned, these days the advice is to wait 6 months. This left me feeling unsure about what to do, I didnt want to be a bad Mum but I had to read the signs my baby was giving me.

However, one think I was acutely aware of was the "weaning" dictators... do you know who I mean? I have read numerous forum posts/topics where one person is considering weaning before 6 months and they get a horrible put down from numerous other parents.

Firstly I think this public putting down of a fellow parent is unnecessary! Why do we insist on doing this to each other?! On a side note, I really think as parents we need to encourage each other and offer advice in a positive manner!

Secondly, upon doing research into weaning I have found that there is still medical contention over when is actually best to wean!

Several articles over the past few years highlight that there could arguably be issues with waiting to wean a baby.

I have read articles that say weaning too soon causes higher risks of potential diabetes in older age and allergies... But I have also read that waiting 6 months or longer can cause the same issues.

So while I am being informed 6 months is practically a must I don't really feel this offers a complete picture on when is best to wean, now that I have done my own research.

Furthermore, bare in mind that the 6 month recommendation comes from research done throughout the world. It takes into account developing countries where breast milk is often a lot more nutritional than the food they would offer a baby, as well as more sterile.

This frustrates me because not only do they not look at the needs of your baby on an individual level when it comes to milestones like weaning, but it seems the guidelines are overly generalised (and include variables which would never apply to my child).

I think we need to, as parents, remember that sometimes guidelines are just that. If you follow them too strictly you may miss key signals from your baby that they are ready for development.

It also seems that one of the reasons the recommendation is 6 months is because women often stop breastfeeding when they wean and these guidelines basically encourage women to breastfeed longer... I think there could be other ways to encourage longer breastfeeding.

Upon doing my research I found that a babies digestive system is usually fully developed around 4 months (which is I waited until after this to wean).

I genuinely feel it is important to consider the guidelines as just that; guidelines. I think as parents we need to be listening to the signals our babies give us. I know that these guidelines are useful tools to enable parents to make the best choices but as I mentioned these guidelines are not based on your child's needs as an individual. A part of me wishes that the NHS would take more time to help parents make informed decisions about subjects such as when to start weaning on a baby by baby basis.

Of course, this is just my opinion, and I always recommend getting the advice of a medical professional (like I did) and doing your own research. I also feel it is important to note that my sons solid food has not replaced any of the milk feeds he is getting, as I read that this is important. I am also not feeding him anything that could be considered an allergen until the recommended age. I found Annabel Karmel's books very useful for this information.

2 month old baby...

So now that my son is 2 months old he has changed so much from that newborn we bought home. I wanted to share the changes in him since he was born. I love reading other blogs, or watching vlogs, where parents describe the changes in their babies. I find it a really helpful resource on what to expect moving forward... and I hope someone finds this useful (and enjoys reading it of course)...

Dribble, dribble everywhere! I learnt recently that the saliva glands of babies kick in at around 2 months. Suddenly my baby started dribbling constantly, I thought he might even be teething but it is way too early for that. So now there is another bodily fluid to be covered in. Yay... As well as dribbling he has started putting his hands in his mouth constantly and sucks on anything that is near his mouth... including his baby carrier (tasty).

He has started chuckling, he even does it in his sleep. Very adorable and I wonder what he finds so funny in his sleep? In addition to chuckling he has started "talking"... Not literally of course, but he squeals and makes cooing noises when you talk to him, like he is having a little conversation with you. It is great to interact with him but it can be embarrassing when he squeals loudly in public. I am conscious people wont be aware that this is his happy squeal.

It is obvious that he can see so much further and better as well. He watches things that are further away and he follows me moving around much more. This has also meant he has started reaching for things, as well as grabbing items (including my hair).

I have noticed that as he has become so much more aware that he has become more "demanding". I hesitate to use the words "demanding" and "needy" as they seem a bit mean. It is in a babies nature to be this way. But he really likes attention and cries a lot more if he notices he has been put down.

This has only happened in the past week or 2 and it has made life a bit more tiring - and it is a challenge to do everything with him wanting to be involved and/or held all the time. I am currently writing this with him on my lap... I have become a master of doing everything one handed...

Also, the days of him happily lying down in my arms are already over (unless he is sleepy)... if he is awake he wants to be sat up and looking around (he is nosey like his Mummy).

However, despite how exhausting it is, it is lovely how much more interactive he is becoming. His personality has started showing... randomly he seems to really respond to reggae music...

As all these things are happening with my baby the one thing I have noticed in myself is that the exhaustion is setting in. I feel like the first few weeks you don't feel as tired because adrenaline and coffee keep you going... however 2 months in without one full nights sleep is taking its toll. I fear my body has become immune to caffeine... and the adrenaline you have in the beginning, from sheer shock and worry over having a tiny human to look after, is gone (or maybe your body just gets used to it?)...

Parenting books... Some advice and tips from other Mums.

Parenting books have been something that I haven't been sure if I want to get any. I kind of feel, from quickly flicking through them in book shops, that they all have conflicting advice and can steer you down one particular method of parenting.

I like the idea of being flexible about how I parent my son. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a source of stability for him but at the same time I want him to understand the changes occur in life. I wonder if I followed the strict methods of one particular parenting book then changed (if it didn't work) am I going to be left with an unsettled child? Of course, one could argue not to change how I parent but I don't think that is realistic... you are going to have days that you need to step outside a strict regime.

Images from www.amazon.co.uk

I also feel that I know my baby quite well at the moment and (fingers crossed) seem to be coping well, so I don't feel the need to invest in expensive parenting books. However, I feel this pressure to go out and buy lots of books, that to be a good Mum you need to be a book worm and read all you can.

Archie being a book worm...

I don't know where I feel this pressure comes from, it must be something in myself as when I asked my fellow Mums about what their thoughts on parenting books were I got such a variety of opinions. It was both informative and liberating as the biggest message that came across was: go with what works for you!

I basically asked;
What are your thoughts on parenting books?
Have any worked for you?
Can you recommend any in particular?

There was some great tips as well, here are some of the opinions I got back:

"I didn't buy or read parenting books, but I bought Mother & Baby magazines every month for about a year! It was the thickest magazine for the least amount of money and there was always something free. If they weren't so expensive I'd probably still be reading them because they were a really good read, and really useful."
I thought this was such a great tip! A cheaper way to get tips and advice on parenting, it will cover lots of subjects and parenting ideas... you can dip your toe in and see what will suit you!


"I used Gina Ford Contented Little Baby with (first baby), and her Complete Sleep Guide....However he didn't sleep anyway so made no difference. The feeding routine was good. Her weaning book was also fab for recipes etc, as was Annabel Karmel. Still got them, I'm using potty training in one week by Gina Ford too as (second child) is super stubborn with potty training. Didn't use books with (second child)."

"I didn't use parenting books at all, I didn't feel the need as I had so many people around me that I could ask for help/advice if I needed it. Thankfully my midwives and health visitors were so friendly I could call them whenever I needed"
This is very true. You do have a support network around you as a Mum, from health care professionals to family and friends... It makes sense to make the most of them and pool all their advice and opinions.

"If I'm honest, I looked at books while pregnant, especially the one off my midwife but once (my baby) was born we just found our own way as I feel all babies are different. Also found that listening to other mums experiences and tips much more helpful. Main times I've read up on topics is if he was poorly, skin irritations etc (NHS website always good). Also love Annabel Karmel weaning books, some great ideas for different flavours."

"I was recommended "Becoming Babywise" which we read, really liked the ethos of "yes you are a parent but be strong in yourself and your relationships and a happy baby will follow" and I attribute my baby's good (mostly!) sleep to it's techniques...but it can be a bit American and they are clearly Christian and find church very important, which really isn't us...so pros and cons! For eating I was recommended the Annabel Karmel books but after a few weeks of being covered in purée ... and not finding the time to make the dishes we swapped to Rapley's "Baby Led Weaning" which I love. It's easy, it's on her terms so no fighting, she can eat whatever, it seems logical but she still doesn't have a massive appetite and quite milk dependant compared to some others. Baby led weaning gurus would say this is fine and she will do in her own time (but pros and cons)! To be honest I'm the kinda mum that recommends you do what suits you, pick in and out of different styles and focus on milk and love and everything else will follow! I think there are so many people who tell you what to do and if you have a happy, well fed baby just keep going!"

"I did not buy any books as I got the information I needed online. I have ordered a weaning book "Ella's Kitchen" from the library which was recommended by friends... I just thought they were a bit of a waste of money to buy when I have the internet and library. I have looked through books in bookshops and most of them give you conflicting advice especially about weaning, so do the heath professionals."
Again a great tip... I know it sounds stupid but I didn't even think to borrow books from the library!  

There is lots of great opinions here, thank you everyone for getting back to me. In terms of books a few popped up a several times:

• The New Contented Little Baby Book: The Secret to Calm and Confident Parenting by Gina Ford
• The Complete Sleep Guide For Contented Babies and Toddlers by Gina Ford
• The Contented Little Baby Book of Weaning by Gina Ford
• Weaning by Annabel Karmel  
• On Becoming Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam 
• Baby-led Weaning: Helping Your Baby to Love Good Food by Gill Rapley
• The First Foods Book by Ella's Kitchen

I am particularly interested in The First Foods Book, On Becoming Baby Wise and Weaning by Annabel Karmel. It seem that one subject the books are great for is weaning and I will be investing in a book I like the ethos of during this time. I will also be popping out to buy a Mother & Baby magazine later today.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley: Mummy Review

I recently sent out a plea to my mummy friends asking for their advice on parenting books... Are they worth it? Have they worked for you? What books would you recommend?

I got some wonderful responses that I will be blogging about soon (lots of different opinions and various book recommendations), but one of the best responses was from a Mummy about her recommended baby sleep book. She was also kind enough to write something on the book and I wanted to share it on the blog;

"Around 5 months me and my fellow mummy friends all started to strive for baby's who 'slept through the night' but there seemed to be two approaches, either you sacrifice your sleep for the next however many years, or you do controlled crying. I didn't want to go without sleep for the next 18 years but I'm of the (slightly scoffed at by some) opinion that letting my child scream herself to sleep would be cruel and not something I'm willing to do. So I googled for books that would offer me some help and found this one highly recommended: The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I found the book really easy to read, I could pick it up and put it down around being a Mum and it wasn't hard to follow. It starts off by detailing why sleep is so important for children, how much your baby should be getting at each age and asks you to fill in records of your child's sleep routines over a day; naps, bedtime routine and night time wakes. Then you follow the ideas outlined in the book for ten days and complete the records again. The approaches the book suggests are 'tear free' as you would expect and addresses common sleep issues in children. There are many ideas to suit but the most important one for me was to gently teach your baby how to be less dependent on you, nursing/dummy or bottle to sleep and it has successfully helped me to break (my babies) very strong feed-to-sleep association. I've seen gradual improvement since I started a month ago and each ten days I have repeated the records and used the questions that go with them to guide me on what I need to do better and what is going well. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to try a more nurturing approach to sleep training."

I thought this was a lovely recommendation and was very touched my the loving way she has decided to nurture her babies sleep. In many ways I feel like I am from the same ethos, as I am not a fan of the controlled crying technique (not that it is wrong but that is my personal approach as a parent). My baby does rely on a dummy at times, something I will actively be looking to stop over the next 9 months (I want my son to stop relying on a dummy by the time he is 12 months old). This sounds like the perfect book to help do this in a very natural and helpful way, as well as having many practical ways to encourage babies to navigate their way around sleeping patterns. 

 
Of course, every parent and baby is different and you have to find what works for you. I don't ever feel that there is a right or wrong way to parent, as long as your baby is happy and healthy then you are doing well. I hope that this review helps anyone looking for a good book on sleeping solutions for babies.

And of course, a big thank you to the mummy who wrote the review. :)