Parenting books have been something that I haven't been sure if I want to get any. I kind of feel, from quickly flicking through them in book shops, that they all have conflicting advice and can steer you down one particular method of parenting.
I like the idea of being flexible about how I parent my son. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a source of stability for him but at the same time I want him to understand the changes occur in life. I wonder if I followed the strict methods of one particular parenting book then changed (if it didn't work) am I going to be left with an unsettled child? Of course, one could argue not to change how I parent but I don't think that is realistic... you are going to have days that you need to step outside a strict regime.
I also feel that I know my baby quite well at the moment and (fingers crossed) seem to be coping well, so I don't feel the need to invest in expensive parenting books. However, I feel this pressure to go out and buy lots of books, that to be a good Mum you need to be a book worm and read all you can.
I don't know where I feel this pressure comes from, it must be something in myself as when I asked my fellow Mums about what their thoughts on parenting books were I got such a variety of opinions. It was both informative and liberating as the biggest message that came across was: go with what works for you!
I basically asked;
What are your thoughts on parenting books?
Have any worked for you?
Can you recommend any in particular?
There was some great tips as well, here are some of the opinions I got back:
"I didn't buy or read parenting books, but I bought Mother & Baby magazines every month for about a year! It was the thickest magazine for the least amount of money and there was always something free. If they weren't so expensive I'd probably still be reading them because they were a really good read, and really useful."
I thought this was such a great tip! A cheaper way to get tips and advice on parenting, it will cover lots of subjects and parenting ideas... you can dip your toe in and see what will suit you!
"I used Gina Ford Contented Little Baby with (first baby), and her Complete Sleep Guide....However he didn't sleep anyway so made no difference. The feeding routine was good. Her weaning book was also fab for recipes etc, as was Annabel Karmel. Still got them, I'm using potty training in one week by Gina Ford too as (second child) is super stubborn with potty training. Didn't use books with (second child)."
"I didn't use parenting books at all, I didn't feel the need as I had so many people around me that I could ask for help/advice if I needed it. Thankfully my midwives and health visitors were so friendly I could call them whenever I needed"
This is very true. You do have a support network around you as a Mum, from health care professionals to family and friends... It makes sense to make the most of them and pool all their advice and opinions.
"If I'm honest, I looked at books while pregnant, especially the one off my midwife but once (my baby) was born we just found our own way as I feel all babies are different. Also found that listening to other mums experiences and tips much more helpful. Main times I've read up on topics is if he was poorly, skin irritations etc (NHS website always good). Also love Annabel Karmel weaning books, some great ideas for different flavours."
"I was recommended "Becoming Babywise" which we read, really liked the ethos of "yes you are a parent but be strong in yourself and your relationships and a happy baby will follow" and I attribute my baby's good (mostly!) sleep to it's techniques...but it can be a bit American and they are clearly Christian and find church very important, which really isn't us...so pros and cons! For eating I was recommended the Annabel Karmel books but after a few weeks of being covered in purée ... and not finding the time to make the dishes we swapped to Rapley's "Baby Led Weaning" which I love. It's easy, it's on her terms so no fighting, she can eat whatever, it seems logical but she still doesn't have a massive appetite and quite milk dependant compared to some others. Baby led weaning gurus would say this is fine and she will do in her own time (but pros and cons)! To be honest I'm the kinda mum that recommends you do what suits you, pick in and out of different styles and focus on milk and love and everything else will follow! I think there are so many people who tell you what to do and if you have a happy, well fed baby just keep going!"
"I did not buy any books as I got the information I needed online. I have ordered a weaning book "Ella's Kitchen" from the library which was recommended by friends... I just thought they were a bit of a waste of money to buy when I have the internet and library. I have looked through books in bookshops and most of them give you conflicting advice especially about weaning, so do the heath professionals."
Again a great tip... I know it sounds stupid but I didn't even think to borrow books from the library!
There is lots of great opinions here, thank you everyone for getting back to me. In terms of books a few popped up a several times:
I like the idea of being flexible about how I parent my son. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a source of stability for him but at the same time I want him to understand the changes occur in life. I wonder if I followed the strict methods of one particular parenting book then changed (if it didn't work) am I going to be left with an unsettled child? Of course, one could argue not to change how I parent but I don't think that is realistic... you are going to have days that you need to step outside a strict regime.
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| Images from www.amazon.co.uk |
I also feel that I know my baby quite well at the moment and (fingers crossed) seem to be coping well, so I don't feel the need to invest in expensive parenting books. However, I feel this pressure to go out and buy lots of books, that to be a good Mum you need to be a book worm and read all you can.
 |
| Archie being a book worm... |
I basically asked;
What are your thoughts on parenting books?
Have any worked for you?
Can you recommend any in particular?
There was some great tips as well, here are some of the opinions I got back:
"I didn't buy or read parenting books, but I bought Mother & Baby magazines every month for about a year! It was the thickest magazine for the least amount of money and there was always something free. If they weren't so expensive I'd probably still be reading them because they were a really good read, and really useful."
I thought this was such a great tip! A cheaper way to get tips and advice on parenting, it will cover lots of subjects and parenting ideas... you can dip your toe in and see what will suit you!
"I used Gina Ford Contented Little Baby with (first baby), and her Complete Sleep Guide....However he didn't sleep anyway so made no difference. The feeding routine was good. Her weaning book was also fab for recipes etc, as was Annabel Karmel. Still got them, I'm using potty training in one week by Gina Ford too as (second child) is super stubborn with potty training. Didn't use books with (second child)."
"I didn't use parenting books at all, I didn't feel the need as I had so many people around me that I could ask for help/advice if I needed it. Thankfully my midwives and health visitors were so friendly I could call them whenever I needed"
This is very true. You do have a support network around you as a Mum, from health care professionals to family and friends... It makes sense to make the most of them and pool all their advice and opinions.
"If I'm honest, I looked at books while pregnant, especially the one off my midwife but once (my baby) was born we just found our own way as I feel all babies are different. Also found that listening to other mums experiences and tips much more helpful. Main times I've read up on topics is if he was poorly, skin irritations etc (NHS website always good). Also love Annabel Karmel weaning books, some great ideas for different flavours."
"I was recommended "Becoming Babywise" which we read, really liked the ethos of "yes you are a parent but be strong in yourself and your relationships and a happy baby will follow" and I attribute my baby's good (mostly!) sleep to it's techniques...but it can be a bit American and they are clearly Christian and find church very important, which really isn't us...so pros and cons! For eating I was recommended the Annabel Karmel books but after a few weeks of being covered in purée ... and not finding the time to make the dishes we swapped to Rapley's "Baby Led Weaning" which I love. It's easy, it's on her terms so no fighting, she can eat whatever, it seems logical but she still doesn't have a massive appetite and quite milk dependant compared to some others. Baby led weaning gurus would say this is fine and she will do in her own time (but pros and cons)! To be honest I'm the kinda mum that recommends you do what suits you, pick in and out of different styles and focus on milk and love and everything else will follow! I think there are so many people who tell you what to do and if you have a happy, well fed baby just keep going!"
"I did not buy any books as I got the information I needed online. I have ordered a weaning book "Ella's Kitchen" from the library which was recommended by friends... I just thought they were a bit of a waste of money to buy when I have the internet and library. I have looked through books in bookshops and most of them give you conflicting advice especially about weaning, so do the heath professionals."
Again a great tip... I know it sounds stupid but I didn't even think to borrow books from the library!
There is lots of great opinions here, thank you everyone for getting back to me. In terms of books a few popped up a several times:
- The New Contented Little Baby Book: The Secret to Calm and Confident Parenting by Gina Ford
- The Complete Sleep Guide For Contented Babies and Toddlers by Gina Ford
- The Contented Little Baby Book of Weaning by Gina Ford
- Weaning by Annabel Karmel
- On Becoming Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam
- Baby-led Weaning: Helping Your Baby to Love Good Food by Gill Rapley
- The First Foods Book by Ella's Kitchen
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