This post does include language and descriptions that relate to conceiving, so if you don't want to read about that then don't read it. (I mean that in the nicest possible way).
I
am feeling a bit anxious about posting this blog as I have parents that
read my blog, but I decided to post it as the objective of my blog is
to help others and I am hoping this information will be helpful. So...
if you are related to me, please perhaps skip it?! Unless you want to read it of course.
If this post helps one person conceive then it is worth it.
Being
a Mum is a journey that starts months before you actually give birth.
For many parents I believe it starts the moment you decide to try for a
baby.
After spending 3 years wearing my husband down to agree to try for a
baby he finally agreed last summer. My husband is a very sensible,
cautious man so insisted we waited for the right time financially.
Anyway, last summer he finally gave in to my biggest wish to start a
family, and with that go ahead we began trying and so began the first
stage of parenthood!
I think, very often, this first part is overlooked by women until they
have gone through it. I was blissfully ignorant before trying to have a
baby about how this stage can be an emotional roller coaster and at
times difficult.
I started by lying to myself saying
that I knew these things would take time and I would be relaxed about
it... That I wouldn't get into
the science too much and just let it happen naturally. However, despite all my laissez faire statements, I
secretly expected to fall pregnant on the first month and was very
emotional when my period came along the first month of trying.
We
were lucky, we fell pregnant after about 4 months trying, but as each
month passed with no positive pregnancy test I was getting more
disappointed and much more detailed about my ovulation (the "science" of
conception as I call it). In fact, I recall one PMS, hormone induced
rant after
getting another negative where I miserably informed my husband we were
probably
infertile and we couldn't have a baby... I realise now this was mean,
stupid and
totally based on being so up tight and emotional about conceiving!
While I doubt many women get to that level of craziness about
conceiving, I do think many women become very desperate during this
stage as the months start to go by without getting pregnant.
This part of motherhood is hard! So I wanted to share some of what I learnt for anyone trying to conceive.
Firstly, and most importantly you
need to know the science behind it! I
had no idea that a woman is only fertile and able to get pregnant 3 or 4 days
out of the month! This was news to me...
How do so many women end up
pregnant by accident when we are only fertile/ovulating 10% of any month?!
I was discussing this with a fellow mummy and we agreed they don't cover
this enough in biology at school. Though I appreciate they want to
avoid pregnancies while you are at school, they don't prepare you or
provide enough knowledge for reproduction as an adult.
For information on "the science" behind conceiving try this website:
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/ovulation
Because you can only get pregnant during such a short time frame you
need to know when you are ovulating! If you want results quickly I
strongly believe you
need to know when you are fertile every
month. Knowing this is very important if your objective is to get
pregnant quickly. You might skip a week when you don't feel like being
intimate
and completely miss the only 3 days you can get pregnant. Sperm does
live inside your uterus for a week or 2 after sex but statistically
speaking the best chance you have is by having sex during your 3 days of
ovulation!
You can know when your ovulating by using handy ovulation kits,
calculating your ovulation period (using handy online ovulation
calculators such as this one
here) and by looking out for signs from your
body, which include:
- changes in your cervical mucus (sorry to be graphic, but it is what it is).
- feeling sexy (ovulation is when you are most fertile so your body natural makes you want to reproduce)
- ache in your belly (some women can feel when they are ovulating)
You need to know your body when you are trying for a baby. I got
pregnant on a month I ovulated earlier than expected. I could tell that I
was ovulating by knowing the signs/changes my body went through.
I also really recommend ovulation tests, the best I found was Clearblue.
In addition to this everywhere says to stay calm as stress negatively
effects fertility. Easier said than done! But I believe it really makes a
difference as I fell pregnant around the time I went on holiday. A lot
of glossy magazines suggest a "babymoon" - a holiday where you try to
conceive. Taking your mind off it with a holiday could perhaps help?
You also need to get your body ready, taking prenatal vitamins is
always a good idea. And I read that exercise and a good diet help too. I
even made my husband take tablets designed for men when trying to
conceive (as I read it is important the man has good levels of certain
vitamins for reproduction, such as zinc).
Lastly be
aware that saliva and lubricants can be harmful to concieving, so to
increase your chances of getting pregnant it is best to buy a conception
friendly lubricant (if you use them) and avoid oral sex.
Here is a link to a lubricant designed to help conception (in other words it isn't harmful to sperm) called
Conceive Plus.
And lastly know that these things can take time but if you
really want
this as quickly as possible be honest with yourself from the start and
give in to the "science"... whip out that ovulation kit if you really
want to! Part of me feels like there is a lot of pressure for us women
to be
"cool" about conception (and wanting a baby). That we can't really admit
how much we want a baby out loud, even sometimes to our own partners.
But I feel strongly that if you get into the "science" from the start
that it can really help get the positive result a little sooner.
I hope this helps anyone trying to conceive, and
good luck. :)
