Nursery Decipher

Butter wouldn't melt...

My son has been going to nursery since he was 4 months old, it has done him the world of good and the staff are amazing with him.

However, they are barely ever negative about him. If I took what they said at face value it seems he is all sweetness and light for them, which I am not sure I believe. (As he is not that at home).

I think they may be sugar coating things. So I have created my "nursery decipher" - taking what they say and putting into "real" feedback.

What they say: He is very independent!
What they really mean: He wouldn't do a damn thing he was told to do and I am so glad he is going home.

What they say: He has really interacted with the other babies today.
What they really mean: He hit several other children with a toy/brick/book and we had to put him in baby prison (aka baby walker) to save the other kids.

What they say: He really enjoyed the sensory area today.
What they really mean: He destroyed the sensory area!

What they say: He loved reading time.
What they really mean: He wouldn't sit still, he tried to steal/eat the book before hitting another baby with it.

What they say: He has made you a biscuit/cake today.
What they really mean: He made you a biscuit today... dont eat it, all the babies made it together and it contains enough dribble and snot to sink a battle ship!

What they say: He has been so active today.
What they really mean: I have chased him around all day while he rampages and destroys the entire nursery, he could make Attila the Hun look like a fairy!

What they say: He really is active, even during a nappy change.
What they really mean: We have to get three staff to hold him down while we change his nappy/clothes because he wriggles so much. We are investing in a nappy changing unit with straps!

What they say: He loved playing in the ball pit.
What they really mean: He refused to get out at the end of the play session and had a tantrum when we had to remove him. He head butted the nursery manager in his tantrum rage and she has a black eye.

If they do ever say...

"He has been a handful today, was grumpy or difficult..." well... send the staff flowers because I dread to think how bad it really was.

(He hasn't really head butted the nursery manager of course... yet...)